Personality is… something deeper than just preferences

“Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.

You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.

If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.

Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.

Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.”

– Julien Smith

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The sun forcefully crept in through the cracks that were purposely covered. A branch of thorns enclosed the room with a forever safe enclosure, creating an imaginable layer of warmth and colour. What is real is becoming common. Fallen beams allowing for what little oxygen was left. Smoke filled the air, creating soft creeping beams of life. The sun was visiting, decorating the walls while changing colors. In each beam of light, little lint particles float gently in empty space. The lint starts shifting, reflecting the power of the sun; creating a rainbow of its own.

The fear of hurting you isn’t worth hurting myself

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It’s days like these and times like now when I am confused and restless, zero productivitiy and thoughts of hopelessness arrive that I cannot eradicate. I feel trapped in the city I escaped from, the same feelings felt from over a year ago have came back to haunt me. It’s draining me, and I want to run. Though I know that your problems travel with you, I always think that life would be better somewhere else, see the greener grass, and a fresh start is what I need. But I don’t. I need people. And I need you. Thinking of others more than yourself, the need to be needed and a sense of responsibility is what stops us being less selfish and more selfless. It’s beautiful. I can’t articulate how you make me feel or describe how you saved me but you did and you are, and I will be forever grateful. When before placing myself into risky situations weren’t thought twice about, you make me reconsider and stop.

The fear of hurting you isn’t worth hurting myself.